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Born
a man trapped in a womans body in 1930's Alabama wasn't the best start
for young Lolene Jo-Beth Marthy. Married to her first cousin Caleb at
the age of 12 and mother of triplets a year later there seemed no escape
from the trailer park she called home. However all was to change when
she ran away to join a troupe of lesbian pole dancers. Workings the
honky tonks and gin dives earned her enough money for passage to England
and the gender reassignment she so desperately wanted. Now called John
and working as a Bingo caller in Hull he had the idea to form a blues
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In
his Saville Row suites and expensive Italian shoes, Hallam Lewis cuts
a dashing figure. Those who know him know that he is a 24/7 type of
guy and whether making decisions that affect the world price of hosiery
or flying his Blimp around the world in record time, attention to detail
and military precision make sure that he is always one step ahead of
the competition. Playing guitar in blues bands is a safety valve from
the pressure cooker world he inhabits |
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Graham
Phillips was the best stuntman in the business until tragedy struck
whilst doubling for Hatty Jaques in the 1972 classic Carry On Matron.
Graham survived the terrible explosion but still wears a prosthetic
head as a reminder of the accident. He was taught to play Bass guitar
by Yul Bryner whilst convalescing at the Vera Divine home for stage
professionals and now makes a living on the pro wrestling circuit where
he is known simply as Cyborg X. |
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A
real live member of the aristocracy, Sir Jeremy Algernon Ponsonby-Allen
First Viscount of Toxteth and orders at the bar gave up the family brewing
fortune in the 1960s to experiment in hallucinogenic drugs and the black
arts. Such is his power that one night whilst playing a guitar solo
at a gig in the Adelphi, Hull he disappeared only to re-appear behind
the bar dressed in a yellow frock and wearing boxing gloves. The stern
embodiment of tradition, he is reluctant to change anything but his
clothes. He has a sense of humour but seldom unbends and certainly not
with children. However he strangles pheasants expertly and does show
emotion towards horses and dogs |
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John
Senior or Gabriel Marqueza Diego Farrera as he is known to the CIA,
first came to light in 1981 operating as a drugs mule for one of the
large Columbian cartels. On a trip into Miami the condoms he had swallowed
burst and he ingested 3 kilogrammes of pure cocaine. Amazingly he survived
in a coma for 8 years and when he suddenly woke up in 1989 he could
speak fluent English and discovered he was blessed with perfect pitch.
A promising career as a concert pianist was tragically cut short when
he lost both hands in a kitchen blender preparing some soup but he continued
to scratch a living playing children's parties and pensioner drop ins
where he was spotted by a Bingo caller in Hull. |
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Dashing
good looks and the body of Adonis don't hide the fact that Keith Miller
is bad to the bone. Living in the constant shadow of his famous brother
Glen turned him into a one man crime wave culminating in a 2 year stretch
in Belwood open prison for his part in a pyramid selling scam. On his
release he became an international dealer in condemned poultry and it
is widely believed by the government that he is personably responsible
for the current avian flu outbreak. |
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Anyone
who hasn't heard of Hugh Whittaker must have been asleep for most of
the 1980's. Crowned International Colour Stylist three years in a row,
Hugh was the darling of Pimlico where his salon Hair By Gum
attracted an international clientele of glitterati, minor royals and
Hollywood stars. However it was all to go horribly wrong when Michael
Winner called in for his regular purple rinse. Unbeknown to Hugh someone
had replaced the styling mousse with quicklime leaving Winner the hideously
deformed wretch we see today. His career in tatters Hugh became drummer
for a number of blues bands and Hull indie darlings the Housemartins.
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Although
dead for the last twelve years Eddie is still an integral component
of the band and he doesn't let his death spoil his love of music. (
He also has the best attendance record at rehearsals). On a practical
level Eddie can no longer play his beloved congas and tends to favour
the "clanking chains of hell" although he will occasionally
opt for the wailing disembodied head on slower numbers. Now living in
purgatory Eddie is in constant demand as a session player with artists
as diverse as John Lennon and the great Pol Pot. |
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